They're Hiring Bus Boys and Dishwashers

Dear you, reading this,

Fallout Boy once said "You can only blame your problems on the world for so long before all becomes the same old song." I find that I only have problems when my ego gets in the way. It would be so nice to just take whatever comes at face value. It would be amazing to work hard without thought. It would be great to know you have a place in society that gets rewarded.

Instead, how about this. we're on a quest and we must see it through. Now this quest isn't all there is. We could talk about current events, media, sports, science, and gossip just as much as anybody. That's what makes the quest great! It's a quest for joy, but the holy grail of the question is what is joy?

What bugs me about this is so many people talk like this. There are so many rebuttals. Do you truly believe that there's a world outside of your head? I've had my close friends and family tell me straight to my face that what I believe sounds crazy and I believe them. As soon as they're away, I switch back into the quest. It's like when your parents ask if you've done your homework and you insist you have when you know you haven't. Am I lying to others or myself? When I embarked on this journey a voice in my head asked if I would be willing to give up everything. I was and still am. What does that mean though? It would be just as possible to need to give up a job as this quest narrative. How is anyone supposed to decide what to do? Some feel compelled to push forward. At what cost? Some feel like giving up sometimes. Does that make them failures? The ones who study the earth say We're writing checks our planet can't cash, but if there's one thing that will sour the masses, it's doubt.

Look how many have risen to some semblance of power claiming to be god incarnate. Did they write frivolous essays on their doubt? Look at the man in the oval office. Does he make speeches about how he doubts his own plans? Deep down, I don't doubt my quest. I picked the stars out of Lady Love's back yard. I've roamed through the Gardens of Eden. I've helped ghosts and dueled with dragons. I've met Gods and Demons alike. I wear the heart of one on my necklace. I gave a moon's tear to a friend to mend his broken heart. I've seen unicorns kiss and shapeshifters shift. You may not see it but it's all I can see. Current events are plot points and side quests. Media is spectacles and oracles pushing us forward. Sports just show how little control we truly have. Science approximates the rules of the maze and keeps the illusion in place. Gossip is the way the over soul communicates to us. Some put on a mask to show others that they're still invested in the status quo, but are they? We're on a quest and nothing can stop us. I'll abide by that and try my best to help. If I fail and get pummeled by the path, they're hiring bus boys and dishwashers down at the local Italian restaurant.

Edit: The cracked podcast casually mentioned a study saying that about 1% of college students start permanently thinking reality is fake. Glad I'm not alone. I want to stress this though. Believing reality is fake doesn't make your actions have any more or less impact. Also, this belief makes people trust you less. If people think you believe they are fake, they also believe that you will not respect or care for them. It doesn't get much easier when you flip it around. My core sticking point is everything is very real except me and some other stuff. When people try and wrap their heads around that, they can get quite frustrated. I know. It's happened to me on more than a few occasions. You, the reader, can try this yourself. If I don't exist than who typed this? The words had to come from somewhere. Perhaps it was a hand or an algorithm. The next question would be why it's attributed to me if I don't exist. Did someone write it for me or did I? If I don't exist someone else must've written it for me. Why would they do that? Why would they pose as someone who doesn't exist? The question comes back to me. "I don't know KYLE?! Why are you posing as someone who doesn't exist?"

We're talking in circles now. We've come back to the core sticking point. If you've read this far we're passing GO again so collect 200 dollars from your nearest trust fund manager. The question simplified is this "Kyle, K-Wullums, Oily Spudds, Sir Emerson Pimpinstick, if you don't exist then why do I know you? Why did we meet and why should I care about this dumb 'the world is fake or maybe not its just me who's fake or maybe not' bullshit?" To which I say "you willed it to be and so it has become at the price of your control" and I will ask if you are enjoying it. I find that you will force yourself to enjoy anything you believe you have chosen. Watching the mental gymnastics it takes to realize yourself as the master of your universe is purely divine. Then comes the stark reminder that you've also paid a heavy price and freedom only goes goes as far as the paywalls you can pass. If the participant is willing, inspiration follows. If you have been who you wanted to be and known that you had what it takes, Why not be better? It's fucking magic is what I'm saying! It's just such a shame that so many take better as having more money, having control over others, wiping humanity off the planet, or being famous. Then, if you use it for something else like humbly helping people and destroying the cult of power and celebrity, everyone says you're envious of those people. Oh what so you're willing a non-existant person to be full of an envious rage? To what end? You know what I'm envious of? ----

I'm rambling. This edit was supposed to be short. You don't want more rambling about the current state of affairs. all you really want to read is

as always, thank you for reading,

-K-Wullums

J say of the day: You know what you have. Don't let losing it convince you otherwise.