Countdown to Red Rocks April 1st 2020…
And Now Here’s As Much of The Story As I Know:
Chapter 1: Who are We?
We Didn’t All Start Here But, We’re Here Now
The daily video (Probably an episode of The Wullums Show):
Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Keelay Ahsley Wullums and I’m going to play at the world famous Red Rocks Amphitheater with my brother A-Wullums on April 1st 2020. As of right now the show isn’t booked, We’re not famous, We use copyrighted materials pretty willy nilly so there’s always the possibility of getting sued, some of my friends straight up hate each other, and money should go to those who need it. The beauty of parties is everyone bringing something to the table. So why am I so sure we’re going to play Red Rocks on such a specific date? Maybe you’ll understand by the end of this playlist.
This is a recent video on my daily vlog called Morning Keelay. Most likely, It’s a video of my brother and I performing. The vlog is structured in such a way where I’m only allowing myself to have a certain amount of videos up at any on time. Recently, I’ve been keeping them up. They’ve started to infect each other. Depending on the day, you might get something new or a recreation of a previous video. I typically save the videos with other people from getting deleted. Tomorrow this video will be at the end of the playlist and a new one will take it’s place. I put it at the beginning because people who are new to the playlist will get a different beginning than anyone before or after that day (Barring a lapse in updates). Plus, it immediately just turns into internet nonsense for an hour.
P.S. The videos in this section were on the internet long before they made it to Youtube in their current official state. If you know, you know. skip the entry.
3,812 Days Before Red Rocks… On YouTube
Rick Astley - Never Gonna Give You Up (Video)
If you don’t know why this had to be the start of this story, please let me explain. In the mid 2000’s or possibly sooner, we would send this video to people as a prank. It was called Rick Rolling. One person would send another person this video with some sort of false story behind it. For instance, let’s say your friend thought 9/11 was an inside job. You’d send them a link saying you had new evidence that W knew what happened to tower 7. Of course, we both know you accept the story the government wants you to believe and instead of new evidence, your friend got rick rolled for the 5th time that day. It was a magical time.
916 Days Before That… On YouTube
Dramatic Reading Of A Break-Up Letter
There once was a popular site on the internet called YTMND. Content on the site was composed of jpgs or more commonly gifs and sound. The two would rarely match correctly. This video was one of the most classic. I considered putting in a YTMND compilation instead of this and there were just too many Hitler gifs. I guess at the time, I was unaware that those people are serious. Since then I’ve learned that white supremacists have been trying to currupt the internet from the beginning. losers. This video still cracks me up. Plus, I love the juxtaposition of this right after “Never Gonna Give You Up”
P.S. While finding this I was reminded of “Heute ist mein Tag” by Blumchen. If you don’t know, now you know.
2019.06.21 Edit: So a lot is coming out about the ways algorithms that recommend content figure out the best way to get attention is to be bigoted and encourage pedophilia. YouTube’s algorithym in particular got called out when it was shown to reccomend content of increasingly young kids in increasingly little clothing. When I was 12 This was common place and a few things happened. If reading about antisemitism and child porn is too much for you, just watch the videos or skip this entry.
Much the same way porn stars are tagged in their videos, child porn victims gain somewhat of a following. I must stress again, this all happened when I was 12. I looked up one of these people and it turned out she was 31 at the time. She had become an outspoken advocate for the victims of abuse and reading her side of the story horrified me. I thought every 12 year old was as horny as I was, but the fact of the matter is regardless of age, you’re body is your own and it’s tragic when someone who doesn’t have your best interests at heart, whether that person thinks they do or not, uses a position of power to strip you of your privacy and agency. We start getting into a real weird grey area when people start getting sexual pleasure off of what society considers normal in a way that society finds horrifying. What do you do when kids are encouraged to learn how society works, society tells them to have fun and film it, and pedophiles latch onto it? I’m sorry for talking about this so soon into what should be an entertaining playlist but seriously y’all, Children are our future and knowing what I found out at the age of 12 has really messed with my head ever since.
Also, while I understand it’s not everyone’s job to visit the underbelly of the internet, it really is a shame that none of the outlets I follow who covered pizzagate picked up on the fact that cheese pizza is slang for child porn because they have the same initials. People would request CP and trolls would post picks of cheese pizza, computer parts, crunchy pickles, etc. Rumor was, later some enterprising pedo’s would encrypt actual CP in the seemly innocuous pictures of pizza. However, these are the same people who try to get kids to kill themselves by growing their own crystals so who can ya trust? By that point I was very much over it. It’s disheartening to know that youtube is starting the cycle up again. Apps like Discord have become havens for this behavior as well. One time clever bot told me to look up a strange search term and it turned out to be a weird video of a kid. She was saying something in a foreign language and a baby was crying in the background. I thought nothing of it at the time. It makes more sense now I guess. On the bright side maybe we’re just in AI puberty? The world could use more education on power structures and the harm they can cause.
Around this time, I had a Jewish friend. His dad was the vice president of Starz and his mom was a fashion designer from New York. I used to stay at their house on weekends and occasionally we would have lox and bagels. This was enough evidence in my mind to suspect that everything the internet had told me was true and we began to bully the kid. Mind you, we made fun of him for other stuff too. He would draw hentai and the boobs kept looking octagonal (told you kids were horny). His family was very patient with me. Eventually, the bullying got to be too much. He moved schools and stopped being my friend. One of the last times I saw him, he poured milk all over my head. The kid was definitely a trend setter. His family was never anything but kind. The fact they gave me a comfortable place to stay during the weekends I spent with my dad was immensely helpful. I didn’t know it at the time but my dad had started smoking meth. Weekends at his house were rough. He would be moody or out of the house and it was nice to get away. However, because of what internet stormtroopers told me, I belittled my friend and lost the safe haven. My others friends and I started shoplifting and playing with fire. When I got older. I went to Red Rocks for a Film On The Rocks. Wouldn’t you know it? That same friend from middle school got one of his animations to be played for the opener. Even if this Red Rocks show happens, he beat me to the punch by nearly a decade. That doesn’t matter though. What matters is I still miss him. It’s a shame how much hate gets spread.
2,525 Days After That… On YouTube
Daler Mehndi - Tunak Tunak Tun Video
This video is from 1998. It came into being between the last two videos. From what I read on the internet, it was made because someone told Daler Mehndi people only like his music because of the hot girls in his videos. Taking up the challenge, he made this. Years later, my 8th grade government teacher played this in class for his Friday tradition of World Music Day. That same teacher had a day where he cooked spam for the class while the neighboring teacher cooked pancakes. this song rarely makes me think of spam and pancakes, but that’s definitely what I’m thinking of right now.
2,136 Days Before That… Yes, The Distinction Matters, On YouTube
It’s Peanut Butter Jelly Time!!!
This was one of the first videos on Albinoblacksheep. I threw it in here to get rid of people who don’t understand the internet.
P.S. Jamezz bond got like half the shit cut out and Miko Miko Nurse is a little too abrasive. Sure I want some people to leave, but not everyone. I considered Caramell dansen, but it’s a little long. Leekspin would probably be acceptable here. I might switch it back and forth sometimes.
Edit: This entry has been changed to the LLama Song in order to be kinder to the audience. In all fairness, my attempts to annoy the audience are probably why I don’t have an audience. That and when I changed the video, I was too lazy to change the title of this entry and instead used this lengthy explanation that probably took me about as long to write as changing the dates would. It’s certainly less creative. I’m glad we had this time for reflection.
2,408 Days After That, Say It With Me, On YouTube
So, Albinoblacksheep was one of the first flash and video aggregators on the internet that I can remember. Newgrounds was much larger but it was harder to find dope content. Ebaums World had pretty much everything awesome, but they stole credit from creators and didn’t pay them. Even in middle school, we realized that was lame. Around this time Weeble’s stuff was going strong and there were plenty of independent websites putting out flash toons. ABS will always hold a place in my heart and this cartoon seems to really capture what was great about the site. the video used to have different credits music that I assume was removed for copyright purposes.
At this point in my life, I don’t think I had been to red rocks yet. My mom used to take us to a little day festival in Winter Park every year, but my brother and I mainly rode the alpine slide instead of seeing music. The only bands I remember seeing there were the B-52’s and Sonia Dada. The first concert I went to was around this time and it was a Judas Priest show at Fiddler’s green. I had no intention of becoming a musician or artist or anything. That wouldn’t come till much later.
5,187 Days Before Red Rocks On YouTube… You Know What? This is Easier. It Starts Going In Order Eventually
GI Joe PSA-Boy Falls Off Cliff
Aww hell nah whassup dawg? Hey Kid, I’m a computer… Stop all the downloadin’! help computer…
Remember what I was saying about the way ebaums world would steal content? You can see one of their watermarks on the bottom of this video. Furthermore the YouTube channel that posted this video is not the creator’s. The original creator of these spoofs has a website and it’s www.fenslerfilms.com. It’s not right, but that’s the way it goes sometimes. My first YouTube video was a clip from a Disney channel movie. It has more views than anything else I’ve posted.
4,502 Days Before Red Rocks On YouTube
Watermelon Nights- The Meth Minute 39
The original Meth Minute animated short was a little music video called Internet People. You should watch it if you want a trip down memory lane. Frederator did an interesting thing by releasing their shorts on the itunes library so you could watch them on an ipod video. Ipod videos were pretty cool. It’s crazy to think that we couldn’t stream on the go not so long ago. Here’s a good time for an embarassing story. So this one time, I was going on a road trip with my brother, my dad, and his girlfriend at the time, Jean. We were going to visit Jean’s family and I had this ipod video loaded up with porn, as you do when you are a 13 year old boy. All the videos had sneaky names like “applesauce” or “blankets.” Anyway, we’re cruising down the freeway and for whatever reason, I decide to climb into the trunk. I’m listening to music in the trunk (or boot if that’s more your speed) and wouldn’t you know it, I remembered that I could easily watch some porn in the trunk of that car. I blamed my sweatiness on the fact that there was no air conditioning back there, but I’m pretty sure they knew what had happened. The Meth minute had plenty of other great shorts that you could put on your ipod video. Favorites include Nite Fight, The Craigs, and Wang Warriors.
1,207 Days Before Red Rocks On YouTube
Bonus Stage Episode 86: “Joel Fights Crime, Phil Rewrites Time
I’m so glad these made it onto YouTube. Keentoons hosted Bonus Stage originally, as far as I knew, and while they had other classic animated series such as “Robot Box and Cactus” and “Space Tree”, Bonus Stage really took the cake. They pulled out all the stops if you were wondering what all those signs were doing there. Nowadays, I think this episode holds up and It cracks me up that I’m a long haired blonde dude who frequently makes non sequiturs and claims to be able to travel through time.
3,457 Days Before Red Rocks On YouTube
Awesome Series - Metal Gear Awesome 2
Egoraptor is just the guy. This video is classic. Back in middle school and into high school my friends and I would post flash cartoons on this site called SheezyArt. It was a lot like DeviantArt but it was more customizable. It’s a strange phenomenon on the internet. Much like with myspace and facebook, the less customizable version persists. Before Sheezyart shut down, there were plenty of flash animators putting out great content there. Once again, Newgrounds was bigger but the front page of SheezyArt tended to aggregate better. That’s where I discovered Cycon, Rubberninja, Neff, Tomska(he comes up later), Eddsworld (still missed), Gurkenman, The aforementioned Egoraptor, Tomamato, lazymuffin, Wonchop, and plenty more. The guy that always got me was Sqeezy. Sqeezy would put out the most ridiculous stuff. There was this one catoon he made where he was spouting gibberish in German about farmers and rabbits. The action script was messed up on the time bar so towards the end of the video it just floated out of frame. If someone could find me the cartoon he did called “Insecurity Spreads” I would be very happy. That’s how I found out about Beirut and The Polyphonic Spree.
It’s worth noting that I don’t think this video holds up as well as I’d like it to. It’s a little odd that a racist joke was omitted in this version and yet the joke about assaulting women has remained. Originally when the tank guy (remember tank guys?) says “The raven on my head thirsts for his blood”, the raven responded with “Damn right n***a, mmm hmm”. In this version, the N-word has been cut out. However, the scene in which Snake finds Meryl has Snake openly objectifying her before knocking her out cold to speed up the adventure. I understand the butt of the joke is intended to be the impatience of gamers, but as a kid I definitely remember quoting that line and thinking “wouldn’t it be cool to act like that?” Now I kinda cringe at that part. Egoraptor is free to create whatever he wants. you don’t have to watch it. It’s just odd that whatever internet mob took issue with the caricature of a black person didn’t also take issue with outright assault and objectification of women.
5,054 Days Before Red Rocks IN REAL LIFE!! See how this works?
Progression of a Mad Hatter
Donald Glover has always been great. I used to watch these as a kid. Mystery Team was great. Community was great. Childish Gambino drops it like the Nasdaq. His stand up is pretty swell. Atlanta is great. Frankly, I really hope he helps with this. He already has by making the videos, but like, this Red Rocks event would be vastly improved by his presence. It may seem like I’m trying to get billionaires and celebrities to throw me a birthday party right now. I promise I’ll do something that warrants throwing this show… I just don’t know what it is yet.
Around the time this came out, I was having the worst year of my life. My friend Kubitz’s family asked me, a thirteen year old, to watch their dogs while they were gone and that went horribly. the dogs shat all over the house right before they got back. Also, Kubitz, my friend Frehs, and I used to play this game called “throwing a knife we found at Kubitz’s wall.” Frehs and I decided that the dogsitting weekend was the perfect time for two thirteen year old boys to fix Kubitz’s wall. We failed. So Kubitz Mom came home to dogshit and broken walls (also we shot their butter with a bb gun) and a short time later, the three of us got busted shoplifting. Kubitz’s mom decided to move to Utah, so during the last month I was able to see Kubitz, our only interaction was helping my dad fix the wall. Kubitz was the reason I joined football so now I was in it without him and I hated football. Luckily, it gave me a chance to reunite with my homie Dan-f from elementary school. Still, I hated football. Plus, in the middle of all this, I found out my dad was on meth and that cancelled our camping plans and led to me pretty much losing the closest thing I’ve had to a step mom. This was also the year my Jewish friend left and poured milk on my head. I realize that I brought almost all that hardship on myself, but that didn’t make it any easier to go through. All this was just the prelude to starting high school. Meanwhile, D gloves was killin it.
3,748 Days Before Red Rocks In Real Life! (For Future Reference, This Is the Default)
DJ Earworm - United State of Pop 2009 (Blame It on the Pop) - Mashup of Top 25 Billboard Hits
This would be so cool live. We’re all thinking it. I haven’t heard one in the last 10 years that’s this good.
At this point in my life, I was dating my first real girlfriend. We built a lot of forts together. I had a pirate hat that I would wear to school sometimes and she hated that. We almost broke up because of it. We ended up breaking up 3 times. The first time it happened, I cried so hard that I gave myself a black eye. She’s a dentist and married now. In high school, I would always tell her to relax and spend more time with me. Seeing her graduate after I had dropped out of college twice was a huge wake up call. Everyone around you has put an absurd amount of effort into who they are. When I was a kid, everyone told me I was smart and I thought it would carry me through. Now, I understand that you can have everything going for you and still fail. That’s what makes success so great.
3,811 Days Before The Red Rocks Show
Kyle, Dressed as a Pirate, Breaks a Sobe Bottle
My youtube debut! This was the pirate hat I was talking about. I also had a phase where I would wear suits all the time. I don’t remember why. Sometimes I would cut the sleeves off and make short sleeved sports coats. I don’t think it ever looked particularly good, but I was trying to be punk rock. I don’t know how many people will remember that Sobes used to come in glass bottles. I’d be willing to bet some people who read this won’t know what a Sobe is. Suffice to say, they are lizard themed beverages that used to come in glass bottles and if you smacked them on the top hard enough, the bottom would fall off. you can try this with other glass bottles, but I’ve never seen them break as clean as the Sobes did. You can see that even back then I was a friggin rock star. This was the year my poetry turned into rap music.
Chapter 2: Why Are We Here?
You Keep Reading, You Tell Me
4,456 Days Before Red Rocks
A Monologue For Thee
Britannick is amazing and you’d be doing yourself a favor by watching the rest of their videos. I chose this because it has a sequel and it reminds me a lot of how life has been lately. I know this red rocks show is happening, but I forgot what happens until then. If you can’t believe this, just think of me as a dreamer. In the words of Tiny Tim, Welcome To my Dream.
4,252 Days Before Red Rocks
This is by Tomska! I told you he’d show up again. Back on SheezyArt, asdfman would post these comics called asdf comics and eventually they turned into video format. I have a teenage coworker who wanted to make comics based on the asdfmovies and it made me chuckle because he never got to see the originals. This video is kinda how I see life. I have friends and family that have some semblance of a narrative to them but most people are just wacky characters doing wacky things. It’s not such a bad thing. Personally, I like being free from my past and future. Life is a lot easier when you can just exist in the moment. I’m pretty sure that’s just me saying I want trust that I haven’t earned… oh well.
4,027 Days Before Red Rocks
The Duck Song
This is classic. Every time it starts, I think “this again?” and end up enjoying myself. I don’t know if it has a moral and frankly, I find it hard to believe it warranted two sequels. Don’t be a duck.
3,648 Days Before Red Rocks On YouTube
My former coworker made this. It’s apparently about how we as humans destroy natural beauty while trying to emulate it. I put it on here because I want this story to be less about me. As of the writing of this, he hasn’t watched this far in the playlist. I gave him the option to replace this video with one of his friends performing. If he watches it or reads this and asks me to change it, I will. If not, enjoy the bees.
3,522 Days Until Red Rocks
Ke$ha - Take It Off
I love Ke$ha. For a while, I wanted to be her best friend and then she went on tour with Macklemore and I figured he already lived the dream, why try? Typically, as long as someone is doing the things I want to do, I figure I don’t need to attempt it. I’ll eventually find out if it was worth it. If you are so inclined, Ke$ha’s first two albums work alongside “Not Another Teen Movie.” There’s room for one extra song at the end. I recommend “Somewhere Only We Know” By Keane. I might put that together and post it somewhere if I can dodge copyright law. I’m pretty sure this is the first instance of color sand in the playlist. It’ll come up again in some interesting places. Probably gonna have it at the Red Rocks Show
3,209 Days Before Red Rocks
Ass on the Flo
Here I am ahead of my time. I figured if the playlist kept going without an appearance, people would assume these are just my favorite videos instead of the story of the greatest show on earth. If I could rewrite this play, I would probably take out half of the uses of bitch and develop the female characters more. While watching this with my Grammy, she began asking me questions about it. She filmed it and she didn’t remember the day at all. It struck me as kind of funny because she always said one of her greatest fears is not remembering me. I understand that she meant it she doesn’t want Alzheimer’s or dementia. Still, it was strange to see her cope with seeing something she was present for and didn’t remember. Honestly, I only remember one other play from that day and only one of the names of those people. We did two group projects together and the only name I can remember is Alex.
College was a nightmare for me. I didn’t have a car and took the train to class. I tried making friends, but that was near impossible when I couldn’t meet them outside of school. I ended up getting an internship at a record label in Boulder, I would take the bus up and stay at my friend Luke’s apartment. Freshman year, I started drinking. By the spring, my girlfriend and I had broken up for good (because I slept with someone else soon after the third break up) By Sophomore year, I was smoking almost a pack of cigarettes a day and smoking weed daily. During finals, I took acid for the first time. The next semester, I dropped out. I tried to seek counseling provided by the school and some of the sessions left me crying before class. I think people just thought I was high. The free sessions ran out and I was placed in group therapy which just made me feel worse. That didn’t stop me from going back later though.
3,514 Days Before Red Rocks
Power Hour - Kanye West Parody
Definitely had a Rocket Jump and DeStorm phase. Both channels put out consistently good material multiple times a week. That’s always been too much work for us. Also, we drank a lot. Also, I can’t believe it’s been nine years since the last good Kanye album. @me. I think a karaoke power hour would be awesome. We might do that for the birthday bash this year if I’m off probation.
2019.06.21 Edit: I wasn’t off probation. I still think karaoke power hour would be awesome.
3,498 Days Until Red Rocks
BACKIN UP SONG!!
Of course, if you’re doing a playlist of important internet stuff, you need schmoyoho. For some reason, when they came on the scene, it opened up all sorts of weird channels. Now there’s plenty of content smashers and mashers. Most of them take talented people and perform popular songs in parody or genrebent fashion. schmoyoho showed us all that we never stop singing. back that up.
3,467 Days Until Red Rocks
cooking by the book remix ft. lil jon
So there’s a rule that exists on the internet called rule 34. I think this video gets about as close to that as is appropriate on YouTube. It makes some people uncomfortable to know that about the world, but I find once you get used to it, life is more interesting. I’m not saying kids should watch this, but I will say was looking at far worse as a kid and now you are reading my thoughts so that’s something.
3,379 Days Before Red Rocks
This is comedic relief. Also, I like that “die potato” has already been introduced but “I like trains” hasn’t in this playlist. I like that people didn’t understand that sentence. I love the people who agree with it. I’m kind of a jerk like that. Continuing on with the theme of “this is how I see the world,” sometimes you aren’t present for things that would make the situation make sense and you can still find enjoyment in those moments.
3,327 Days Until Red Rocks
Wallpaper. - #STUPiDFACEDD
Ricky Reed has always been slayin’ it. I honestly don’t understand why people aren’t all about this aesthetic. Well, I mean besides your friends having hard times and dying young and all that. It seems like they are fine with that though. You play this song in the club and it empties the floor. I just don’t understand people. I would definitely dig having the man himself perform this on stage with us. If he does, we’ll go T-Rex.
3,310 Days Before Red Rocks
A Monologue For Three
Here we go again with the white void. Also now you know where I got the name for Ass On the Flo. Also Dani Pudi Makes an appearance and community is just tremendous. Furthermore, I’m hoping we get to this point at the Red Rocks show. Hooking up brains is way fun. The key is taking your thoughts out of the equation. it’s easier to sync up if you aren’t trying to control it. Try improv games. They are all about this kind of stuff.
Chapter 3: Is Anyone There?
and More Importantly, Is This Their Fault?
3,285 Days Before Red Rocks
SpongeBob Patrick - Seanut brittle how could this happen to me
Short, sweet, funny. Also this is the perfect song bite for those kinds of moments. It’s kind of strange how many life lessons were learned from SpongeBob
Edit: This video was made private since the creation of this playlist. I’m leaving it here if it ever becomes public again.
3,226 Days Before Red Rocks
Blood on the Dance Floor - “BEWITCHED” - Official Music Videos - featuring - Lady Nogrady
I put this on here because of the vine where the bro is losing his shit to this song. I know that feeling. Every now and then, something that others would consider goofy or childish really gets me in the feels. Thank you sobbing bro. Without you, I never would’ve got to the dance remix part at the end of this song.
3,187 Days Before Red Rocks
“Russian Unicorn” — a bad lip reading of Michael Buble
If you don’t realize what’s going on in this video. This is the actual music video for “Just haven’t met you yet” by Michael Buble. What gets me about this video is Michael Buble responded and thought it was funny. That’s great. I sure hope when celebrities find this, they think it’s funny. It would be really weird if Michael Buble finds this.
3,099 Days Until Red Rocks
Beyonce - Countdown (Album Version - Video)
Yay! Beyonce is here now! I’ll be honest. I didn’t see this video till December of 2018. My friends Luke, Sarah, and I were watching it and Sarah said that watching Beyonce is different for men and women. She went on to explain how Beyonce is a feminist icon for her. Luke replied with “I just like the drums.” That cracked me up. The part of the song where she says “me and my boo in the coup lip lockin!” turns me on in such an amazing way. It gets me psyched on love. Another thing that I find Impressive about the video is the amount of takes they must have shot. I find the hardest part of making time based art is repeating the same thing over and over until you get it right. I honestly don’t think I could lip sync that many times in a row to get some of those shots in the video.
P.S. Peppasnaps Jackson Doesn’t like Beyonce because Beyonce rented out a whole hospital floor to have her baby and later ruined christmas for orphans without apologizing. Personally, I think that looks worse for capitalism than Beyonce, but she could’ve apologized to those orphans.
3,065 Until Red Rocks
Studio Killers - Ode To The Bouncer (Official Music Video HD)
Gorillaz might be the most popular “virtual band,” but they are no means the only ones. The concept of a dude singing as a cartoon girl is unique. Plus, as far as I know, Studio Killers just put out one album and a handful of singles, and yet, they’re still putting out new content. It’s somewhat inspiring. I’m a fan. Plus, footage from their live set looks killer
3,209 Days Until Red Rocks
bottle lawn mower fail & spiral in mower
This was filmed at my mom’s house. I lived there until I was 20 when she got a job in Vail. She tried her best with us. When she wasn’t around, we would light stuff on fire, steal shopping carts, and do stuff like this. Oddly enough, I’m talking about having a kegger in this video, but I hadn’t even been drinking for a year. I had probably just started smoking weed. One of the voices you can hear is my friend Hannah from Jump Street. I haven’t spoken to her in years. One time we stacked the armchairs in Jump Street into a pyramid that was taller than our heads. Her friend is the one getting hit with the bottle. Another one of the voices you can hear is my friend Mitchell. Mitchell was one of my closest friends and during my “welcome to drugs” phase, I did something that caused him to stop speaking with me. I miss both of those voices
3,010 Days Until Red Rocks
Flatbush Zombies - Thug Waffle
One day while working at jump street, a little kid about 12 years old came up to me with an e-cigarette. He started talking smack about me and my life and told me that he probably listened to music I had never even heard of. Then he told me about OFWGKTA and I had to admit he was right. A few years later he started showing up at our apartment. I wasn’t super chill about hanging out with a teenager, but he turned out to be one of the coolest dudes we knew and showed us this video. Years after that, A-Wullums and I went to a Flatbush Zombies show on acid. Years after that, My friends and I couldn’t get tickets to a sold out Flatbush Zombies show in Munich. This is definitely an invitation for these guys to be at the Red Rocks show.
2,993 Days Until Red Rocks
WHY YOU ASKING ALL THEM QUESTIONS? - @SpokenReasons - #FCHW
Whatchu know bout this pizza boi?! I forgot about this video until I saw the third installment on tiktok ads. I thought “Hey, I remember this guy. This is basically ‘Askin all them questions.’” and sure enough, five years later, it was. I have never had a relationship where this was the case. It seems like a hassle.
2,849 Days Before Red Rocks
[ORIGINAL] Youtube Haiku - Compilation #1
Dear kiddos, before whatever compilations you watch on YouTube, but after America’s Funniest Home Videos and Tosh.0 (which was just a rip off of does not compute), there was YouTube Haiku. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve watched this and it always reminds me of good times on the couch. I admit the penis part goes on way too long.
Chapter 4: What Are We Doing?
I Could’ve Sworn We Knew
2,744 Days Until Red Rocks
Key & Peele - You Can Do Anything
This is how I’m going to act after the Red Rocks show. Key & Peele might be the funniest sketch show I have ever seen. For only having three seasons, they put out more classic sketches than any other show I have seen. I could switch this for any of their sketches and it would work. However, this is the one that relates to this giant quest that’s consuming my whole life…
2,740 Days Before Red Rocks
Tomska’s back and real this time! If you’ve read this far you know it’s just going to keep getting stranger. Parallel universes are not to be taken lightly. We are constantly learning more about the universe and hopefully one day we’ll be able to contact and communicate with parallel versions of ourselves. This video is in here because I want to ask you something…
Wanna practice kissing?
2,685 Days Before Red Rocks
Big Time Internet show preview
This was The Place! The start of believing in magic. When I was working at Jumpstreet, I had a crush on one of the managers, Jenanas. She ended up moving to Big Time. I got fired for standing up to the new manager who later turned out to be a gun wielding pedophile. I soon followed Jenana’s to Big Time and got hired after a short stint of working at Toys R’ US. Honestly, Big Time was the best job I ever had. Everyone was always happy. Young and old alike had something to do. Also, I got to jump on trampoline’s and watch people wreck themselves on the zip line. That zip line ended up being illegal. whoops. One time the boss picked up a whole box of pool noodles at the neighboring dollar tree and for weeks little kids would chase me and the other staff around trying to smack us with pool noodles. On Fridays, we would have teen night and kids would get caught getting freaky in the maze or doing drugs by the dumpster. These two high schoolers would DJ and years later, one made a beat for TISYWA. The only reason I left is because someone told the boss that I was taking acid on the job. Funny story about that day: I was sober that day and my girlfriend at the time was threatening to kill herself while I was at work. I got blamed for her suicidal thoughts and the boss really made me out to be some kind of a monster. That’s when “The Devil of Deceit” became one of my monikers. There was also this one time where a kid broke his arm and nobody did anything about it. The two other people on staff got fired for that. I could see getting fired for that. I also understand why you wouldn’t want drugs around kids so maybe the boss just had had enough of my shenanigans. Haha Funny story about Dylan. I tried to get all the other staff members to sign a petition to get him fired. I don’t remember why I was so mean to that kid. I was just jealous he was younger than me and was a manager. haha good times. Sorry Dylan.
Also, I’d like to talk about memory again. I keep most of the raw video and audio I record in some form or another. I recently discovered more big time footage and there is footage of a coworker I could not remember. She looks like a ton of fun to work with and be around and there was a part of my brain that thought “oh right her” but for the life of me I can’t remember anything about her. I remember Christi fell through a roof at a party one time. I don’t remember the other girl at all and yet I filmed her too. It’s important, if you take videos, to realize that you too will one day watch your footage as almost an impartial observer, trying to piece together a story from fragments to discover something about an identity that never really existed to begin with.
Two more things real quick. Any inflatable maze or slide you play on has been fucked in or on. You can’t stop it. just accept it. I got a hand job in the inflatable maze. It was awesome.
968 Days Before the Red Rocks Show on YouTube
Tally Hall’s Internet Show Episode 2 - Death Request
Tally Hall might be the most underrated band from the early internet days. They produced quality music and videos and it seemed like they had a lot of fun doing it. One time, Luke and I saw them live and we ended up talking to Andrew, the pianist. This internet show ranged from just-for-laughs sketches to experimental cinema and it was awesome. This episode came out in 2008 but didn’t make it on to YouTube till 2017 so this is as good of a time as any to abandon time almost completely. Don’t worry though. Things will start going in chronilogical order again just as soon as my brother and I stop dicking around in our apartment.
1,723 Days Before the Red Rocks Show on YouTube
Drinking Out Of Cups (Official) - (Liam Lynch & Dan Deacon)
This video is classic and yet I wouldn’t play it at a party. The language in this did not age well at all. People around me still quote it all the time though. You don’t like lighthouses, you suck. I like this video here because the way I talk about this Red Rocks Show might sound like I think I’m some sort of prophet or something. If you’ve heard me read my book you’ll know I got this idea while tripping at a Major Lazer show. I want to stress right now that I am not a Prophet. I do not speak for God (unless they ask really nicely), I can’t see the future (though I assume things are going to keep floating downstream), I do not worship Satan (though I am friends with the Debble), and I don’t believe in anything besides nothing. Drugs make you talk like this and it concerns people when you keep doing it after they wear off. With that out of the way, Johnny Hammersticks and I got it going bossanova so why don’t you walk down me I’m mister walkway and start listening to the voices in your head as you get real. No Way.
2,624 Days Before the Red Rocks Show
2013 Golden Era Records Cypher Featuring Briggs, Vents, Funkoars, Hilltop Hoods & K21
I found out about Golden Era in 2006 around the time the Funkoars dropped the Hangover. The album doesn’t hold up to social standards now. Their rhymes were sexist as it comes sometimes and downright filthy all of the time. They spent an entire song body shaming once. They’re the pin prick between safe sex and having to take an AIDS test. Trigger Trials might be my favorite rapper of all time for some of the stuff he said. If you didn’t know, now you know. Also, 2013 was the year they introduced K21 to the GE cyphers and it’s the year I, K-Wullums, turned 21. COINCEDENCE??? yeah… it’s my playlist… duh…
2,502 Days Before Red Rocks
The Wullums Hallway Freestyle No. 2: Nutrition.
Hey!! Austin Has finally entered the frame fully! after only two years! These hallway freestyles are so bittersweet for me. On one hand, I loved the good times. On the other hand they show me just how average I am at freestlying and how little I’ve progressed in the last 6 or so years. That’s the thing about freestyling though. It’s not about leaving something memorable behind. It’s about having fun in the moment. You can skip these if you’d like. I deleted most of the ones that only had A-Wullums in I in them. That being said I’ll save you from reading the self deprecating criticism That I think these videos deserve.
1,112 Days Before Red Rocks… On Youtube???
Benefits of Cucumber - Song
This is padding for the playlist. We were doing a lot of drugs and I’m not sure really what all came out in 2013. I figured if the playlist had hallway freestyles back to back, people would leave. This is good advice too. I tried replacing my soda with cucumber water and I left the cucumbers in too long (over a week) and it got nasty. So you know, don’t do that
933 Days Before The Red Rocks Show On YouTube
Marilyn Manson - Clone High Food Song
Clone High was too awesome for television and caused protests in India. We used to watch it while we were on and off the drugs. I love the thought of someone thinking “It’s been 16 years since the largest terrorist attack on United States soil that was perpetrated by a foreign power. Better post a clip from a cartoon that came out around that time.”
2,499 Days Before Red Rocks
The Wullums Hallway Freestyle No.3: coconuts
Bryan Combs is the guy. During high school or college he came down with a condition that put him in constant pain. Never the less, he has always remained outwardly optimistic in my presence. One time we went to a Dada Life show that went till 3 in the morning. It turns out he had been in pain most of the night and he just let me rage it out because it’s what I had to do. I did have to, too. It was at the First Bank Center so I hopped the GA guard rail onto the floor, ditching Bryan. At one point Dada Life started throwing hundreds (thousands?) of pillows into the crowd and we all had a massive pillow fight. I was losing my shit because of relationship issues. I could’ve been a lot more understanding to a lot of people that night
4,509 Days Before Red Rocks On YouTube
Iron Mic: Eli Porter vs. Envy
This video is simply wonderful because it perfectly encapsulates what it means to win. More Judges voted for Envy. Envy won. That being said this would only get a couple hundred views if it weren’t for Eli. See he’s the best man. He did it.
2,491 Days Before The Red Rocks Show
The Wullums Hallway Freestyle No. 4: Satan
I’m keeping this in here because T-Mota and Yung Steeze are the homies. Also Whassup Will gave us the suggestion and he’s a great dude. He kept the robe I gave him. Satan is boring. Satan just wants to give you what you want so you’ll learn that you don’t know what’s best for yourself. I recommend turning to Satan only if you don’t want what’s best for yourself. I’m not proud of the fact that I reused “chicks get up on my dick” from the last episode. I will however defend one line by saying if you believe in God then you must admit in some capacity it would be possible for such a deity to perform fellatio on someone.
1,993 Days Before The Red Rocks Show
Welcome to Hell [HI-DEF Release]
This was made by a friend of my brother from another mother Dan-F. Dan-F and I went to California before I left for Germany and hung out with Erica, the creator. Dan-F lives in Cali now. He is busy AF but you will never find a more professional animator.
3,182 Days Before The Red Rocks Show
きゃりーぱみゅぱみゅ - PONPONPON , Kyary Pamyu Pamyu - PONPONPON
Two words: clap bread
This video was recommended to my friend who would prefer not to be included so we’ll call him Dogman. Dogman was in the army and because of this, could only drink alcohol or take hallucinogens to get messed up. He was one of the reasons we started tripping as much as we did. The first time I took mushrooms was with him and he taught me how to grow them. Once we could grow our own, things got insanely awesome. Mushrooms are weird because the longer I go without taking them, the more nervous I am when I do. Much to my surprise, it’s never been that big of a deal while tripping. We used to trip 3 times a week or so and throw these awesome parties in large part due to Dogman. The two worst things I’ve done while tripping are losing my keys the night before work delivering pizzas and forgetting my backpack on a hike. The backpack ended up having some leftover mushrooms in it and I got arrested. That’s a story for later though.
2,477 Days Before Red Rocks
The Wullums Hallway Freestyle No. 5 Monsters
This video guest stars Lyrical Pain. He was our neighbor and always spat fire. His older brother made great beats. His younger brother was always trying to chill. One time Lyrical Pain and I were rolling down a hill and his head got caught in my feet. We lost touch, but I wonder about him a lot.
2,471 Days Before Red Rocks
The Limousines - Love Is A Dog From Hell (Official Music Video)
The limousines are another highly underrated band in my opinion. I’m pretty stoked this video came out during Hallway freestyles. I remember kissing her back then and I don’t understand why she wasn’t in any of these videos.
2,470 Days Before The Red Rocks Show
The Wullums Hallway Freestyle No. 6 Summer heat
Shamrock Jester had been a friend since high school. He spent a lot of time with my brother and I and you can probably still find him on x-box live. I don’t think I’ve seen him in years. Shit I’m starting to think these videos are cursed. Maybe I’m cursed. Maybe all of these people are living awesome lives and I’m just bummed we aren’t hanging out anymore.
3,169 Days Before the Red Rocks Show
Don’t Hug me .I’m Scared
It’s kind of incredible this came out in the same month as Pon Pon Pon. 2011 was a kick ass year. This video is kind of how I see the American education system and I’ve never formed that thought before typing it. Also, I use my hair to express myself.
2019.06.21 Edit: For as big as the chip on my shoulder is, I miss the socialization that comes with school. It was like that during seasonal work, but now everyone is so far away.
2,455 Days Before The Red Rocks Show
Inside the studio. Pokemon Rap
This was where the magic happened. Well, at least, this is where some of the magic happened. I crocheted those blankets and bought the mic at a pawn shop. The microphone stand is actually for one of those magnifying lamps that cosmetic artists use but without the lamp. The pop filter is a pantyhose over a wire hanger because good ol’ Nick Sadowski told me to emulate “Hustle and Flow”. As I recall he went along for some of the mission to get it all set up. This was the studio where I recorded the mixtapes “Fully Sick Heap Shit” and “Unusable Signal.” The computer we were using was a dell that we got for Christmas in 2004 and the copy of FL studio was pirated. The drum pad is my dad’s. All the stuff is still around except for the mic stand and the desk.
2,842 Days Before The Red Rocks Show
Pikachu on Acid
We did a lot of acid. It can’t be denied. I still like doing acid. Also, the video before this was about pokemon. This is classic. I’m still padding. You get how this works right? Now is the little aside where we can just talk. How are you enjoying this so far? typing it is kind of a pain. I’m pretty sure it’ll all be worth it though because hopefully It’ll all start to come together in about a year or so.
2,449 Days Before The Red Rocks Show
The Wullums hallway freestyle No. 9: Golden Retriever Bitches
T-Mota is back! Dan-F filmed this. He is the best animator I know and he filmed vertically. It just goes to show that no matter how good you are at something, there will be something you didn’t consider. Also, quick shout out to Carl on the beat piano with A-Wullums. I knew that kid since elementary school and he turned out nothing like I was expecting.
2019.06.08 Edit: Carl and I Dj’d a wedding together. He’s still wicked chill
2,433 Days Before the Red Rocks Show
DramaBug - Bravest Warriors Minisode 2 on cartoon Hangover
Look at Frederator adapt to the times! Bravest warriors is super dope and it’s Frederator’s second appearance after Watermelon nights. Are you starting to notice how things keep coming up again and again? It’s almost like we’re getting stuck in loops of thought. Also, This is a pretty good way to sum up the end of my relationship that was going on at that time.
2,445 Days Before The Red Rocks Show
Inside the Studio: Sunscreen
People said I had to put this song out. We did. It went well
2,400 Days Before The Red Rocks Show
Katy Perry - Roar (Official)
My girlfriend at the time had a Katy Perry poster in her room. During the first read through of the book in the vlog, all of the videos were titles of the tracks on Teenage Dream. If you want an example of why dudes are toxic, look no further than that book. It’s one of those things I did and continue to do that isn’t going to make a whole lot of sense unless you make it make sense. Believe it or not, I thought this whole thing was telling some sort of cosmic love story at first. It may still turn out that way, but I don’t think I’ve heard her roar yet. Maybe this wasn’t the Katy Perry song to include.
2,396 Days Before The Red Rocks Show
Inside The Studio: Cellular Respiration
Would you look at that? We just got three videos in a row that went in chronological order! Of course she’s the special girl that’s doing her biology homework. Who Else would it be? Get with the program, We’re past that.
2,921 Days Before The Red Rocks Show
DNA Structure and Replication: Crash Course Biology #10
This came out on my 20th birthday! I had just started working at big time. Crash Course is a wonderful way to spend your attention. This isn’t for padding sake. I want you to educate yourself. Biology is freaking incredible and when you grasp that this is happening all the time in every part of our bodies, it kinda makes you go insane. Don’t forget to be awesome.
1,197 Days Before The Red Rocks Show
Max Cooper - Order From Chaos
This fits in with the theme of cells and biology but in a digital format. Max Cooper is ahead of his Time. Luckily I’m pretty sure the red rocks show is some form of singularity so maybe he’ll dig the concept and come up with something. It’s pretty chaotic right now ha ha.
Edit: I start talking like that when I’m stressed. More than anything this Red Rocks show is a pipe dream I can use to escape from the world. In my mind it’s huge and broadcast all across the globe. In real life, we’ll probably just be a support act for a band that’s throwing us a bone. That’s not me being self depricating or losing faith or anything. I’m typing this edit 406 days before the Red Rocks Show and A-Wullums and I practice once a week, if that. How are we supposed to practice and promote and create the show in 406 days?
2019.08.27 Edit: The Red Rocks Show is only 218 days away and this site gets about 60 unique visitors a month, if that. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t freaking out a little about my claims. All the voices in my head say that this is the right way to go about it, so hopefully their right.
2,344 Days Before The Red Rocks Show
Making The Best of It.
My dad’s house is has a half staircase from the main level to the top floor. One day I was sitting in my room and A-Wullums yelled “Hey Kyle, Check this out.” I walked out of my room to find him at the bottom of the stairs singing “pointing places, it’s the bomb, it’s the bomb, it’s the bomb” as he pointed in every direction. Years later I used that hook for this video. The only reason I know Aquagen is because of Venture Bros.
2,337 Days Before Red Rocks
K-Wullums & Flying Lotus: Zodiac Spits
I wrote this flow on mushrooms while sitting on my porch. I lost my court case with that tow truck driver. I put the shirt I’m wearing in this video on a statue in Germany the morning I came back to the states. The flow introduces the loops but you’ve known about those for a couple of entries now.
1,804 Days Before The Red Rocks Show On Youtube
Animals | Off the Air | Adult Swim
I’m honestly kind of amazed that we’ve made it this far in a playlist about this crazy cartoon carnival that’s about to ensue without some [AS] content. Of all the trippy compilations to watch, Off the air remains the most professional and intriguing. The fan created ones less so, but still. If you ever find yourself in the right mindset, watch a few more of these. You might have noticed this is where I got the song for the previous video.
3,170 Days Before the Red Rocks Show
Jake and Amir: Hot Box
Here comes two heavy hitters in one pouch. Jake and Amir have always been killing it. This video cracks me up and they are some of Trash Cat’s favorites. You’ll hear all about her later. There are going to be plenty more stories about my life. Right now, it’s kinda vague because someone doesn’t want to be part of this and it’s really hard to just let that happen. Again. Over it. Let’s just get through these last couple of videos.
Edit: I’m over being over it. Whatever happens, happens.
2,325 Days Before Red Rocks
Wullums Potluck Freestyle Episode 1: Sandwhiches
We got too cramped for the hallway and then never did this again. Lyrical pain and T-Mota are back. Plus we had our neighbor Dante there. Potlucks are awesome. I think more of them would help humanity. THIS ENDS THE WEIRD FREESTYLE TIME WARP SECTION.
By this point you know who we are and what we do. We’re going to take a break for a couple of years now. I’m going to travel. A-Wullums is going to work in Vail and such. I’ll tell you all about the craziness that ensued as these videos came out.
Chapter 5: Where Do You Get Off?
Is It As Good As They Make It Out To Be?
2,296 Days Before The Red Rocks Show
Patrick Noth - My Posse
Okay so things were getting a little out of hand. We practically always had someone at the apartment whenever we were home. Stuff was breaking. Stuff was getting stolen. We were doing a bunch of drugs and having a bunch of sex. IT WAS FUCKING AWESOME. However, it was unsustainable. Rent wouldn’t get paid on time. The prices were rising. We didn’t know at the time that we still had another year of crazy times in the apartment ahead. This was published around the time of the speedo project which means this is the time in my life where I was going up to Laramie to party with Katy Perry Poster. The whole time I’m typing this, there’s this tug-o-war between whether or not it’s a big deal. I don’t think it’s a big deal that we did what we did. I don’t think It’d be a big deal if several more did. However, If it’s not such a big deal than why do I keep bringing up this period in my life?
2,277 Days Before The Red Rocks Show
Watch “Broomshakalaka” now | Informercials | Adult Swim
Welcome to 2014 People. We made it. We’re starting it off right with an [AS] hit. I don’t know what possessed Adult Swim to make their Infomercials series, but this might be my favorite video on the internet. Denny Boffa is the Ultimate Villain. In his quest for more time with his daughter, he kills himself and unleashes a wave of terror onto the world. Still, somehow I’m always rooting for him. Also, This is pretty much my strategy with the Red Rocks show. Even with no hands and a broom up my ass, I need to make it happen. It’s the equivalent of one life. Of my little daughter’s life. Those were her ashes we spread earlier.
2,207 Days Before The Red Rocks Show
Caleon Fox — Skies above
Caleon Fox is going to be a reoccurring character. It’s cool to see the stuff he made in the beginning. If you didn’t know, you are now living healthy. If you know him, Invite him to the red rocks show please.
2,193 Days Before The Red Rocks Show
Flat Stanley Competition
I made this to make her smile because we joked about it and I thought she would be even happier to see it come alive.
2,136 Days Before The Red Rocks Show
Joywave - Tongues (Official Video) ft. KOPPS
Deny it all you want, you know this would be a cool parallel universe. This video is made by Daniels and they are amazing. Also, I love being naked. I also love seeing naked people. It’s more about comfort than sex. The way I see it, if people are comfortable enough to be naked around each other, than you are probably in a safe ass place. naked people, including myself, puts me at ease and I really can’t say why I haven’t joined a naturalist community yet.
2,129 Days Before The Red Rocks Show
Brick + Mortar - Old Boy (Animated Video)
These guys are Trash Cat’s friends. Richie, the animator of the video, used to date Trash Cat for awhile. Apparently, he’s an alien with a huge penis. TC and I went to see them play live in Boston during the summer of 2017. Richie played the role of stage tech. Friendly advice to anyone in a band: I don’t care how good your music is. Brick + Mortar rock it harder than most and they still had Richie doing his thing. Get your band a Richie. Also, get your band a Trash Cat. She’ll keep the scruff out.
2,121 Days Before the Red Rocks Show
Watsky- Whoa Whoa Whoa [All You Can Do]
This blew my mind when it came out. I actually got to talk to Watsky at Warped Tour one summer. He seemed pretty cool. Since then I learned how to chop like that and can go that fast or faster. It would be awesome to do something with Watsky at some point. This one time, I saw him perform at the Ogden and did a stage dive During Sloppy Seconds. I had no idea what to do once I was up on stage and the security guards were closing in so I just jumped for it. It was awesome. Thank you Watsky!! Also I’m pretty sure this video marks the first appearance of Bo Burnham. He’ll be showing up periodically because he reminds me of myself if I had gotten discovered as a teen. That’s not to say I believe I’m as talented, just that I wouldn’t think all my problems were solved if I were famous.
2,101 Days Before The Red Rocks Show
29 Celebrity Impressions, 1 Original Song - Rob Cantor
Hey look! It’s Rob and Andrew From Tally Hall! Remember The Internet Show? Just because they broke up doesn’t mean they stopped being friends! This video is super sweet so share it with someone you love! We are now in the summer of 2014. I must’ve crashed the car on the sand dune by this point. I was trying to show her lake Seminole and we got stranded in the car all night. That’s one of the things that makes this so hard. Spending a night like that with someone sticks with you. Lake Seminole is the pristine lake that housed plenty of my favorite early life memories. My dad’s group of friends would bring as many Atv’s, motorcycles, boats, booze, drugs, guns, fireworks, food, and fish bait as they could muster and consume everything in sight for 4 days. It truly was magical times. When Katy Perry Poster a.k.a Harley Quinn and I got there, the sign said closed but…. you know what, this story is in the book. Suffice to say we had to spend the night on the dune.
2,048 Days Before The Red Rocks Show
Jessie J, Ariana Grande, Nicki Minaj - Bang Bang ft. Ariana Grande, Nicki Minaj
Where do you even begin with this one? These three pop stars came together to make a song that outperforms anything they’ve done solo with the exception of Jessie J’s Domino. This video marks the first appearance of Ariana Grande in this playlist. She fascinates me almost purely because I just don’t think we would get along and meeting each other would probably be painful for both of us. I have talked mad shit about her stuff; however, I wish her all the best. she hurts my brain. Oh well, I guess I need A BAD GURL TO BLOW MY MIND! MY MIND!
2,016 Days Before The Red Rocks Show
Bo Burnham’s back baby! Bo Burnham’s back baby! Okay seriously though, This song is freaking hilarious. I get the point that he’s trying to make here but I honestly don’t think much has changed here. I mean the thing about music is it fades away. Yesterdays “classics” weren’t necessarily hits and vis versa. The important thing to remember is “repeat stuff” kinda sounds like “we’re pizza” and that makes all the difference.
1,989 Days Before The Red Rocks Show
“Shia Labeouf” Live - Rob Cantor
It’s Rob from Tally Hall again! This time he’s talking about shia labeouf. I didn’t realize we’d have a video that came out 1,989 days before the Red Rocks Show. 1989 is my favorite Taylor Swift album.
1,982 Days Before The Red Rocks show
Cosmic Traveller Shirt Design
Believe it or not I made this on acid. The beat later became the beat for a song I did called Joe and the worm. I’m hoping to rerelease it someday. The concept I was going for in this shirt design is the fact that we as humans, take so much of the natural beauty in the world and turn it into the same shit everyone else is spewing. I love architecture as much as the next gal pal or dude in my crew, but the way we rampantly consume disturbs me.
1,972 Days Before The Red Rocks Show
Too Many Cooks | Adult Swim
Oddly enough, I heard about this on NPR. It became somewhat of a viral hit and while it is classic, I will always remember it as my entry point into adult swim infomercials. Those videos are basically a funnier black mirror. There’s a lot to be said about identity in this modern age of celebrity but it’s more fun to watch this than it is to talk about it. As far as using these videos to describe life, this one does a great job of demonstrating that sometimes tedious and repetitive is ultimately enjoyable
2,933 Days Before The Red Rocks Show
This video was shown to me by Harley Q and her roommate. That is why it is here in the playlist and is out of chronological order. We had some great times in that dorm room. Do you think algorithms are going to start advocating cannibalism? The Debble keeps advocating cannibalism. This video just goes to show how everything becomes acceptable if you don’t see it and it has a catchy pop song. You can’t fool all the people all the time but I’d rather eat randy.
2,165 Days Before The Red Rocks Show
22 of the Funniest 5-Second Films Ever
This entry is also out of place because it is a compilation of things that had been coming out for years. You may notice it is out of place in the wrong direction. These provided so much entertainment! When Vine came online everyone started making tiny content and kinda killed the 5sf model. 5sf had a good run though. One evening, A-Wullums and I kept trying to find a 5 second film where a man is running down a hill with a can and yells “Can of Bees!” Another man asks “Can of beans?” while openning it and bees fly out before the second man screams “Can of Bees!!!” both of us swore we had seen it before but to this day, I haven’t been able to find it. At this point, I don’t know if it ever existed. It could always be made again I suppose.
1,947 Days Before the Red Rocks Show
Run The Jewels - Oh My (Darling)
Run the Jewels is pretty freaking fresh as far as hip hop goes. RTJ2 was another NPR find. This came out about half a year before the break up and Harley Quinn a.k.a The Button Queen used to mockingly sing “Love Again” and it’s gotten funnier over the years. I thought the song was sexy but nothing takes that kinda energy out of your sails like the lady you love making fun of it. Honestly though, In a lot of ways I needed to, and still need to lighten up. It’s not her fault I was insecure about what I found arousing. Honestly, I kinda prefer the Button Queen version these days.
1,934 Days Before The Red Rocks Show
Another quick aside. Why did I include the first and 3rd installments of tomska videos? Is it an allusion to waves of ska music? That doesn’t make sense. I love English Beat and The Specials. Also, I love the way this video highlights the impracticality of violence. Even if you take everyone out, There will be more.
1,848 Days Before The Red Rocks Show
The Wombats - Give Me A Try
Fans of the vlog will know why this is in here. When I saw the Wombats live, I knew my relationship was over. It was this or Greek Tragedy. The Button Queen loved this album. That was the shame. I didn’t just love who she was, I also loved who she was becoming. Her music taste was expanding and she was getting funnier everyday. I thought that I was holding her back, I thought if she gave someone else a try her dreams would come true. Now, I’m right back here again asking for people to give me a try. She had given me tickets to Fallout Boy that Summer. Instead, I played a show. I suppose you always wonder how things would’ve turned out. Maybe I’d be happier if I had just stayed in school and tried to work things out. After all, I went back to school to be with her. Alas, in this iteration of time, I have chosen the path of the narcissistic whiny white boy wondering why life isn’t easy after a lifetime of telling the world to leave him alone. The World didn’t leave me alone though even in what I thought was death. Instead, it gave me visions of a show and told me to put it together. I’ve been working on it ever since. It’s not so bad and there’s no real telling that anything else would be any better. Still, “Me and Bobby McGee” makes more sense every day.
Chapter 6: Who Do you Think You Are?
The Ride Never Ends. All The Old Questions are coming Back
1,835 Days Before The Red Rocks Show
DDWIWDD (Dan Deacon When I Was Done Dying) Off The Air | Adult Swim
This is one of the first videos I watched in Germany. I moved out there because The Button Queen a.k.a Pee Pusher once said that some times she wanted to say fuck it all and move to Germany. I don’t know if I applied before or after we broke up but I ended up doing it. When I got there, there was a period of homesickness and this video somehow convinced me that I wasn’t alone in the universe and that everything was okay. When I saw this, I lived with a homie named Patrick. Patrick was always studying math and everyone loved him. All these girls would come to our room and demand his presence. he would always extend a friendly invite. More often than not I would run off to the woods to smoke weed. I would come back to an empty room and watch videos like this. Perhaps, I wouldn’t have felt so homesick if I hung out with Patrick more. One funny thing about that room was the door was always open. I just dealt with the cold. Patrick would get sick a lot. Before he left I asked if he thought maybe the cold air at night made him sick. It turned out that his old roomate would leave it open and he adopted it without questioning the occasional sickness. I could’ve just asked to close it and been warm. He might’ve saved himself a cough or two. We both had a good laugh about that.
1,816 Days Before The Red Rocks Show
Donnie Trumpet & The Social Experiment - Sunday Candy “Short Film”
I can’t tell you how many times this song has caused me to stay up late on Sunday nights waiting on a visitor. Logically, I know that’s insane. It’s a nice ritual though. I just keep doing it, expecting different results. She still visited when this came out. Again over it. Over being over it. Over Talking about it. Over acting like its not all I want to talk about. Also, I sing it for my Grammy, but my Grammy’s not Chance the Rappers Grandma. I think this is the first appearance of Chance The Rapper in this playlist. The night before we yarn bombed the Berlin Wall, we saw Chance live. He put on one of the best Hip Hop shows I’ve ever seen. He has a lot of featured artists on his albums so he had slammed songs together in 10 minute bursts or so. It’s incredible what he is able to accomplish. That being said, I have a hard time relating to the gospel parts of Coloring Book. I’d rather him have a happy life and put out music that I don’t relate to, than have tragedy befall him for more Acid Rap type flows. The evolution is fun to watch.
1,658 Days Before The Red Rocks Show
Lil Dicky -$ave Dat Money
So basically this but with a red rocks show. Trash Cat loves Lil’ dicky. I don’t know if she still wants to date rappers. She was going to hike the Appalachian Trail this year and gave up on it. It scares me yo. If she gave up on her dream, what hope do I have? I’LL TELL YOU. Notice how LD’s jersey says 42? ahh yeah baby, read the book.
Two days after this video came out I checked into an emergency psych ward at my Grammy’s request. By this point, I had started to put the 10so.live logo on images and started posting them to various places on the internet. It gave me something to do with my time. Everyone said it was stupid and that I was forcing a meme that wasn’t funny. They may have been right. Some of those images are rough. However, I made a lot of the images and when you look back and stare at the collection it really speaks to a functioning, though, warped mind. Later, in Germany, When Patrick was out hanging with people, I was making these god awful propaganda images where I would esentially draw over them in paint with what I hoped were positive messages. I called it digital graffiti. It’s a play on the way things you see worm their way into your brain and the way aggregators add watermarks to promote their sites. it escentially started as a way to combat revenge porn. You ruin the sexiness and suddenly the person spreading it can get caught. I have since learned that most of those pics were from people getting paid to spread what is labelled “revenge porn” and I basically spent 4 years of my life yelling at a cloud.
1,608 Days Before The Red Rocks Show
Times Tables, Mandelbrot and the Heart of Mathematics
I watched this video sometime during the vlog and made a whole video where I was naked with the animation in this video between my legs. I deleted it because it was absolute nonsense. I just want you to see the beauty of math.
1,560 Days Before The Red Rocks Show
Jenny (OFFICIAL MUSIC VIDEO)
Studio Killers are back!! This was the first video I saw of theirs. I was chilling in Germany and had several friends that I wanted to ruin friendships with. Also, when you put this video in context with the clone high plot line it may lead you to some interesting conclusions, but if you get that deep into my life, spend at least 30 hours volunteering for non profits or picking up litter. You read way to far into things. Just so you know though, it is fun to incorporate media into your metanarratives. It’s almost as if everything is Nothing telling the part of Nothing that you are to do something. Even this is just the grand void talking to you. If you made a piece of art that I saw, you were the grand void talking to me. Together, we are the grand void.
This Video came out on Christmas Eve. It didn’t feel like Christmas. Oddly enough, Germany goes Balls out for Christmas so the town was aglow. Around this time, I had walked to the Marionplatz (town square) and listened to some street performs. They all walked up outside the local casino and began to play soothing harmonies to the passing crowds. A week later, the Marionplatz was full of smoke and explosions as the townsfolk shot fireworks at each other for new years eve. The whole day, I heard distant echos of rockets in the valley. I imagine the veterans and refugees didn’t appreciate that very much. I kept having to remind myself it was just harmless fun. I shutter to think how it would feel if those sounds spelled doom for you and your loved ones. Personally, once the clock struck midnight, I was in a strange kind of heaven. Stuff was exploding all around and yet it was just a pretty light show in a frenzy. At one point, I threw a bottle rocket into a crowd and someone threatened to rip my head off if I did it again. In retrospect, It’s probably for the best that I hadn’t had time to buy fireworks. My co-worker got a nasty burn that night which took 2 months to heal. A hostess had a lit fuse latch onto her eye. Patrick had a blast! Those particular festivities were curtailed the next year. They still had fireworks but everyone shot them into the air.
1,144 Days Before The Red Rocks Show On Youtube
This sums up my friendship with the drummer. And my time in Germany…
We are gonna get so fucking drunk
1,508 Days Before The Red Rocks Show
Kyle vs. Kanye - SNL
I never really was much for battles. Trash Cat showed me Kyle’s videos and it made me laugh because that’s my name too. It would be kinda cool to rap with Kayne. He probably wouldn’t appreciate what I said back in the earlier chapters. Kayne West is a good person to watch because I would probably be pulling the same stuff if I were him.
1,387 Days Before The Red Rocks Show
Bo Burnham - Can't Handle This (Kanye Rant) - MAKE HAPPY Netflix [HD]
Here comes a more mature Bo Burnham. This was kind of how I felt in Germany. That was the first place I ever had a couple hundred bucks a month of disposable income. Right off the bat, I bought a DJ controller and an MPC. Before long, I had a residency DJ gig at the local bar. There were times were I knew I had a bad night and people still came up and told me I did a great job. I think my most popular hijink was stripping while lipsyncing at the talent show. The support was incredible. Everyone was really nice. However, I still kinda felt like an alien. As noted before, I would just hang out by myself or one or two other people when others were hanging out. Once again, I was cooking up weird internet stuff. At a certain point, everything flipped. It became increasingly important to spend time with people, but that wouldn’t come till later in the playlist. Also before I left for Germany, I had begun to hook up with the pee pusher a.k.a. Hello Nurse again I was missing her like the Dickens. We would send each other post cards until I sent her one about having crushes on some girls (idiotic I know). The postcards eventually stopped coming.
P.S. At that talent show, Some employees made up a theme song for the hotel and it was one of the funniest things I’ve ever heard.
1,365 Days Before The Red Rocks Show
257ers - Holz (Official HD Video)
It’s a song about wood. Don’t make it weird
1,330 Days Before The Red Rocks Show
Isaiah Rashad - Free Lunch
When I worked in Germany, I had a coworker, friend, and roommate named John. John was the Co-worker who got that nasty burn on his hand on New Years Eve. John loved hip hop and would smoke black and milds while drinking 40’s. He showed me Isaiah Rashad and one time we got blazed in the woods to this album. I think about that every time I hear this song. John and I would talk in the laundry room a lot. Our constant joke was that we were the “good guys” because we basically talked shit on everyone’s relationships. Clearly, we were not the good guys. That guy used to crack me up. He hates Panic at the Disco and I’ve never heard anyone roast anything as hard as John roasts Panic at the Disco. He’s in a happy relationship now. That relationship led one of the RA’s to break into our room while I was in Greece to harass John. Later, that RA got fired for sexual assault while breaking into someone else’s room. He go two weeks to leave. I got evicted for a dirty fridge and they gave me less than 24 hours. However, I also got caught breaking into the base and they didn’t throw me in jail so that was clutch. More so than anything I just wish that was a more sexually safe work environment. It goes back to what I was saying about respecting others privacy and agency. None of those girls, or John should’ve had to put up with that RA’s behavior.
1,317 Days Before The Red Rocks Show
The Avalanches - Subways (Official Video)
Honestly, the wait for this album was well worth it. I wouldn’t even know it had come out if it wasn’t for CPR’s open air. Please support your public institutions such as radio, transit, libraries, schools, and public safety departments.
1,315 Days Before The Red Rocks Show
WORLDS HOTTEST PEPPER CHALLENGE (GONE WRONG) - CAROLINA REAPER PEPPER - 2.2 MILLION SCOVILLE UNITS
We’ve all done something like this. Back in high school I used to attempt flips off walls and land on my head a lot. watching this video, you want to laugh because that’s what the camera man is doing and they did it to themselves. It’s hard to watch this video with empathy. That would be terrifying. Even as I type this, I’m cracking up. I can’t help it. Although, sometimes I laugh when I’m uncomfortable. Even if they are hamming it up for views, this is amazing. They have other videos like this but honestly, this is enough for me.
1,305 Days Before The Red Rocks Show
Beyoncé - Hold Up (Video)
B’s back baby. This came out while I was in Germany and took the hotel by storm. Lemonade was the first piece of art that I saw that made me think “Holy shit this isn’t for me whatsoever and I love it” It really just makes me want to see other passion projects. Also, This video would be so awesome to make. I like smashing stuff! When this was coming out, I was writing love letters in the margins of a copy of The Great Gatsby that never ended up in the hands of the one the notes were written to.
1,293 Days Before The Red Rocks Show
This is America with Father John Misty | Brad Neely’s Harg Nallin’ Sclopio Peepio | Adult Swim
Full disclosure, I didn’t find out about this video until after the Childish Gambino Version. Father John Misty is amazing though and Brad Neely has been killing it since the AlbinoBlackSheep days. It’s awesome to see him go from flash animator to having shows on adult swim.
This came out around the time I went to a festival in Spain. I got there with two over drafted bank accounts and after a tiny loan from my Grammy, I stayed afloat by selling mixtapes at the festival. that’s where I got the nickname “Atcho Pijo”. These guys basically gave me alcohol poisoning as a joke but they didn’t rob me so that was cool. In hindsight, it was a real dick move of mine to go to that festival in the first place. I only went because Hello Nurse a.k.a. the Ex from the West went to edc that year and saw Excision. There were plenty other festivals that other people wanted to go to but I had to pick the one that would leave me all alone and happened to coincide with my friends visiting. I can be a real jerk sometimes.
1,252 Days Before The Red Rocks Show
Jake and Amir: Donald Trump
Another Full disclosure, I didn’t vote in 2016. It was weird to watch the election from out of the country. When it came down to it, I missed the deadline to send my ballot in. I’m sorry America. I’m sorry world. In the hallway by the uniform issue in the hotel, They have a picture of the current president. We would deface Trump’s picture with random faces drawn on orange paper. Yet another example of actions that took more effort than doing the right thing would’ve in an effort to combat past mistakes.
1,247 Days Before The Red Rocks Show
Leikeili47 - Money
I heard about Leikeili47 from the Daily Zeitgeist’s Jack O’ Brien in one of his podcasts. I admire her dedication to both her craft and mask. This music video just goes to show that no matter what’s going on, people are gonna flex. Also, By the end of my contract in Germany, I had about 3 grand in a 401k and I was pretty proud of that. That’s the most I’ve ever saved.
Chapter 7: Oh Really Now?
Okay so you’re one with the universe. You’re also one with all the hair on your ass
1,164 Days Until The Red Rocks Show
John Lensing - Red Flags (Sunroom Session)
John Lensing is a great dude and one of the hardest working musicians I know. As I said before, I want this playlist to be about more people. John is one of the people I’ve been lucky enough to know. He lived at a place called Cow Town where plenty of Musicians threw amazing parties. One time, I crashed in his bed while he was out of town. Thanks John. When this video came out, I was about to embark on a two week journey busing through Europe with little or no money. The original intention was to find open mics and perform. I ended up crocheting hats on various street corners and in various hostels and clubs. When I finally got paid, I met up with the woman I was dating at the time in Zagreb before a brief stint in Venice. I came back to Garmish, played a show at a local ski bar and less than a week later, I was home. It would be another 9 or 10 months before I met John Lensing. John has spent many days and nights street performing and I truly believe He’ll make it to Concert halls and stadiums someday. If this show works out, he’ll definitely have a slot.
1,133 Days Until The Red Rocks Show
Lasagna Cat was one of the first things I saw upon returning to the states. If I’m being perfectly honest, the first real memory of my return to the states is some dude telling me to cut my hair in the Philly airport, but I digress. The Drummer showed me this. After about a year and a half of “being crazy” it was nice to know that there are people out there making bizarre videos. The coup de grâce of the Lasagna Cat videos is their sex survey results, but I’m not going to put a four hour video in this playlist. That would be cruel. I chose this video over others because my dad fighting with his girlfriend was what drove me to Tucson. I was living with them after coming back to the states and Dogman offered me a room in Tucson with free room and board. I naturally took him up on the offer. Neither of us knew what we were in for. The night before we left, A-Wullums and I went to Excision at First Bank Center and I lost the keys to my dad’s van. I had been working on my dad’s crawlspace and left it a mess because the time I had alotted to clean it was spent looking for the keys. He was out of town at the time and reasonably upset with me when he came back. When he called me up to express his pain. I laughed at him. Not my proudest moment but like I said earlier, I laugh when I’m uncomfortable. Please note: If someone is yelling at you, laughing at them will not calm them down.
1,088 Days Until The Red Rocks Show
Urban Anthropologist Episode 1
Life in Tucson was simple at first. I had some money saved up and some bonds to cash. Across town, there was a maker space called Xerocraft that I would frequent and look for entrepreneurs to help. I would look for concert venues to play shows. There was a comedy open mic I frequented. Some Times, my roommate would have me attend classes for him. I mainly did chores to make the house look presentable. Within a few weeks, the house was looking great and my roommate started dating. Without a car, I walked everywhere. Due to my shoes, I damaged my ankle. Money started to get tight. I started selling Haiku’s on the streets. I would still talk to my gf from Germany but we eventually broke up. On my birthday, I volunteered to plant trees at a local venue. Shortly after, a woman detailed her grizzly rape at the hands of a biker to me in a gas station parking lot. It shook me. I decided to put these out to encourage picking up litter. It’s one of the few activities that truly gives me peace.
1,108 Days Before The Red Rocks Show
Tank And The Bangas: NPR Music Tiny Desk Concert
I know this is a little out of place but much like the hallway freestyles, this section needs a little padding. One of my friends, Androllin sent this to me. He had moved to Maine, but we kept in contact. We had long conversations while I sat on the porch in Tucson. He’ll come into the story later. Quick shout out to NPR for their Tiny Desk series. Once again, Support your local institutions.
1,095 Days Until The Red Rocks Show
I guess We’re still out of order. this came out on my 25th birthday. The same day I planted trees and that lady told me about her rape. This video reminds me of the way I acted while I was dead.
1,090 Days Before The Red Rocks Show
KYLE - iSpy feat. Lil Yachty [Official Music Video]
So Kyle made this song. His verse reminds me of my time in Maine. lil Yachty’s verse reminds me of my Time in Germany. It’s a good transition song. Kyle’s music is crazy disheartening to me. He has a whole song called “Not The Same” and I understand that he’s never heard of me but when he says “Don’t know your name” I’m always thinking “It’s your name too.” Honestly, his success great for him. As you can tell, I’ve stuck to my freaking silly lane. Wish him the best, but it kinda does suck to look at him and think “that’d be pretty cool” only to have him brag about his work ethic and how much cash he’s getting and how everyone else won’t be shit. “Really? Yeah!” and “Doubt it” bang though. As of the writing of this, I haven’t listened to his 2018 album. Thanks for Humbling me Kyle. It’s true that what I dream about is not even a milestone for you, but would you wanna play Red Rocks With me?
1,084 Days Until The Red Rocks Show.
Urban Anthropologist Episode 2
As Life went on in Tucson, things took a turn. I started to get desperate. I got an insurance sales job with no base pay. Here’s a fun story; Dogman had constructed a wall around his property for privacy and security. He voted for trump. He started dating a woman of Mexican descent. One night, while I was studying to get my insurance license, She called me up asking to be let in. When I refused, she hopped the fence and ran into the house (triggering the alarm) and jumped into my roommates bed. I believe she gave him a blowjob. So just to reiterate: A Mexican hopped my Trump supporting friend’s wall to do a job nobody was willing to do. That used to be funny and now children are dying in cages. it’s a real fucking shame. Also, I don’t know who I’ve been kidding this whole time, telling people to donate to a supposed rapper who just travels around, smokes weed, and can’t even put out good stuff. It’s like Kyle says. His worst shit is pretty good and my best stuff sounds really bad. Now I’m thinking maybe instead of this stupid path, I should just hang it up and… no, no, no. I’m gonna finish this. Those kids, the ones who don’t die, will be free someday and when they look for someone to blame, I’ll say blame me. I saw your plight and I did nothing. I wrote on my stupid blog about how hard life is after turning down countless opportunities to make it better. I let you suffer so I could eat ice and vape in fucking Tucson Arizona. BUT IT’S OKAY RIGHT?! AT LEAST I PICKED UP SOME LITTER RIGHT?
ahem… sorry about that… continuing on with the playlist
1,078 Days Until The Red Rocks Show
Sir Sly - High
I didn’t hear this song until I got back to Colorado. When this came out, Dogman and I were about to get a new roommate. Part of the reason I never made any money selling insurance is I would hit up 10 or 12 businesses, get discouraged, and go smoke weed. In Tucson I learned that Reggie is home grown. I forget what they called Hydroponic and such.
1,057 Days Until The Red Rocks Show
history of the entire world, i guess
It’s pretty telling that all the characters in this video are men. nuff said.
2019.06.22 Edit: Maybe that’s not enough said. I’m trying to say that it’s bullshit how women get written out of history. Much like this story. This is just my side of things and there are so many other stories waiting to be told. If I’m being perfectly honest, I can’t wait to fade back into nothingness. However, I still feel compelled to put this show together before that happens. I never got to play a show in Tucson, but I did meet a promoter named W who decided to step back from huge events and started throwing smaller gigs. I don’t know how we met, but I’d occasionally find him outside a bar and have a drink with him.
1,051 Days Before The Red Rocks Show
EARTHGANG - Voodoo
Sometimes I feel like my life was never mine. I’m just the part the world made to play this part and if I fail something else will take my place. This song bumps don’t it?
957 Days Until The Red Rocks Show
Urban Anthropologist Episode 3: Windy Phoenix
Things went from bad to worse in Tucson. By the time this video was edited, I was already in Maine. This was filmed when I took my insurance test. The branch manager had a meeting so I had time to pick up litter and hike. A wasp stung me on the top of a mountain. I never made money selling insurance. I had to cash out my 401k. I tried selling Plasma, but was banned because I had engaged in homosexual behavior. I had just gotten checked for HIV and it came back negative so I don’t see what the problem was. In a fit of depression, I tried cocaine after the local comedy open mic. It inspired me to write an entire researched article on why Donald Trump was the perfect president to get Walmart sold on Aflac. My boss saw that I wasn’t doing well. A meth head moved into the house. While picking up weed, my drug dealer mentioned he had coke. The meth head and I walked for two hours to get some because calling a taxi would mean less cocaine for him. The dealer didn’t want to meet us because someone had gotten shot outside his house. It didn’t stop meth boy. We met an old lady who claimed to be running from a car stalking her. The car she described did pass us so she might’ve been telling the truth. I’m sure I’ve told this story somewhere else on this website. I ended up screaming at the meth head in the ghetto before meeting a VA nurse who told me she “hated faggots” (exactly what I needed to hear after the plasma incident). At this point I realized that I had abandoned the meth head without a phone in a strange city. While yelling his name as I ran through the rougher parts of Tucson, I ran into the old lady again. She took me back to her place, with foil on the windows, and made me chicken and salad at 3am. She showed me a tattoo of her grandchildren before propositioning me for sex. I got the hell out of there and walked home before a 7 o’clock meeting at the job where I wasn’t getting paid. I started looking for other jobs and some friends from Germany told me about Bar Harbor Maine. When Dogman heard I was applying for out of state jobs, He ripped my room apart and kicked me out that night. Luckily, My Grammy bought me a plane ticket for the next day and I ended up tripping in David Diamondheart’s appartment. That man saved my life. I swear I witnessed the singularity that night. It was as if the machines were already in control. The next day, I saw the only road runner I have ever seen in person.
Chapter 8: What Are You Gonna Do About it?
Everyone Loves a Potato Monkey
953 Days Before the Red Rocks Show… Which I would like to call “Fool’s Circle”
Video. Da. Poare
Remember at the beginning when I said cleverbot linked me to a weird video of a kid. This is that video. It’s at this time I’d like to answer some questions that you may have been asking such as:
1) Who is Trash cat?
Trash Cat is one of the many nicknames given to the woman I dated in Maine. One of her favorite jokes was to say “That was my nickname in high school” after someone said a particularly nasty phrase. She also had names like Mr. Manager and Street Candy. There were several others but my memory is starting to fade because she hasn’t talked to me in a while. It’s fair though. I pulled the whole “laughing at your pain” thing after we broke up. We had great times though. She’s a pretty prolific street artist by the name of Angry Ozzy so if you ever see a priority mail sticker with a penguin on it, you know who it was.
2) What happened to that girl you keep renaming?
Before Germany and Tucson I saw her at a welcome back party my Grammy threw for me. Between Tucson and Bar Harbor, we met at a hookah bar. I asked her if she was happy and she nodded. Our Hugs lasted a little too long in the parking lot. I told her if she wanted me to, I would drop everything to be with her. Maybe this made me seem a little codependent. Oh well. She said she wouldn’t put that on me. I wanted so badly to keep those hugs going but I had been the guy on the side before and thought that it would be best to give her new relationship a fighting chance. Much like breaking up in the first place, not going to Fallout Boy, moving to Germany, and going to Tucson, I maintain that I chose against both our best interest. I just want to see us both happy but the more I leave, the less happy she is when I come back. Now she hardly speaks to me (for good reason).
3) Do you really think any of this justifies you getting to organize a show at Red Rocks?
No, but it will eventually.
2,722 Days Before Fool’s Circle
You Won’t - Who Knew
Great Gatsby is a very silly story. Gatsby literally had everything he wanted. Daisy was even thinking of taking him back, but he had to be aggro and demand Daisy say she never loved Tom. I don’t understand why he couldn’t face the fact that people can love a variety of people in a variety of ways. It was a different time I guess. I pondered that as I wrote letters to one of the best friends I’ve made abroad. Towards the end of filling the margins in my copy of The Great Gatsby, I realized that what I was doing seemed insane. I never gave it to her. She’s the one who got me to apply to Maine. I told her about the book and she said she might like to see it sometime. It’s in Florida last time I checked. One night in Germany, we were lying in bed sharing music and she showed me this song. It’s a little out of place, but aren’t we all.
1,021 Days Before Fool’s Circle
When You're Tight Like Your Durag
Remember when we were less than 1,000 days till The Red Rock’s show a.k.a. Fool’s Circle. It’ll be okay. Check out how Caleon Fox is progressing. That’s pretty cool right?
984 Days Before Fool’s Circle
Burning Rubber by Maya Bennett
That’s better. Maya is one of my good friends in Denver. She works hard and I always wonder where all that emotion is coming from. Her album “As the Pink Fades” is available on Spotify. She held her album release at Cow Town. It was an incredible night. It’s strange writing this in Summer without having one of those parties to look forward too. I think there will be one in September.
964 Days Before Fool’s Circle
[Original] Miss You by K-Wullums
Hey look, It’s me in Maine. I wrote this song in Germany. My Brother from another mother Dan-F gave me that ukulele when I left for Germany. This was the second song I wrote on it. This was made after I played a show at the local bar and got heckled. The first time I performed it, It was at the second talent show I attended at Edelweiss. I think someone somewhere might still have video of it.
1,000 Days Before Fool’s Circle
Kesha - Praying (Official Video)
There is so much I could say about the way Kesha takes control of her image in this video. Maybe I will someday. This video breaks me. Lord knows I haven’t always been the best to the people in my life. There have been times in my life that have shaken me to the core and when I hear this I think “I did kesha. I really did. I’m sorry. Is there any way we could be friends?” (that’s a call back to earlier. I’ve never interacted with kesha past putting her first two albums alongside Not Another Teen Movie”)
It’s a little early for this story but what really ingrained this song in my brain was taking a road trip where this song was one of 7 on loop for 3 hours. you can’t hold tears back forever.
960 Days before Fool’s Circle
What you thought maybe I didn’t like Rick and Morty and Logic? You thought maybe this wasn’t one of my favorite episodes? You thought an amazing autuned remix would escape me? Serveral hundreds probably have, but whatever. This one is great. You break the rules, lose the game, or try to leave, you won’t die like in Saw, but you’ll die no matter what you do. You have no chance to survive make your time.
959 Days Before Fool’s Circle
Kirin J Callinan - Big Enough (Official Video) ft. Alex Cameron, Molly Lewis, Jimmy Barnes
I missed my chance to see this song live because I was DJing the whitest wedding I’ve ever seen. I was frankly pissed about it. You know Red Rocks would be the ultimate venue to see this song performed at right? That’s what this show has been about this whole time. It’s a chance to celebrate all we have done and continue to do as things on earth. ARE YOU BIG ENOUGH?!?!
side note: I sing this in traffic way too loud and way too much
958 Days Before Fool’s Circle
Lizzo - Water Me (Official Video)
Trash Cat showed me this! As I was writing this I was wondering what was so great about august 2017, but really it was the heyday of hanging out with TC. We would go on all these crazy sexy road trips. I ate her out over the largest covered bridge IN THE WORLD. how many people can say that? She was the manager where I worked and the housing manager. That’s what’s so crazy about all this talk of power dynamics and victimization and such. On one hand there was the very real phenomenon of getting preferential treatment and seeing consequences for everyone if I pissed her off. That being said, the vast, vast majority of the time she was caring and sweet and hilarious and sexy and smart and just an absolutely incredible person. It all made for a very fun, neurotic, sexy time to be alive. Honestly, I miss the crap out of her now that she isn’t my boss. Just to be clear, I am totally cool with various states of gender roles. All I’m saying is it’s weird living in between two relationships with the same person, one equal, one imbalanced.
Also, I totally forgot she showed me Lizzo and found out about her independently before I saw her at Red Rocks. We were late and only caught two songs. Still kinda bummed about that.
953 Days Before Fool’s Circle
Wullums Tour Promotion!!
That was my room in Maine. 4 of us lived in a 2 bedroom apartment and my buddy Greg and I agreed that we each wanted our own room. He got there first so I took the laundry room. Sometimes people from other apartments would come and do laundry in my room. This is where I recorded “Time Is Standing Yet We All.” The soundproofing was made out of foam used to protect waffle cones. My mic stand was a wooden dowel that was stuffed under clothes on a rack. I attached the microphone with rubber bands that held shirt bundles. The pop filter was once again a pantyhose on a coat hanger. TC got me those pantyhose on one of her journeys.
937 Days Before Fool’s Circle
Gift of Gab (feat. R.A. The Rugged Man and A-F-R-O) - Freedom Form Flowing (Official Music Video)
This video made me want to start rapping again. I’ve been listening to Gift of Gab since high school. I actually saw him live at a Blackalicious show and it at one point he looked into the crowd as if he was watching for what magic would come out of the crowd due to his influence. I guess this is part of that? A-F-R-O is probably a better rapper than I am and much younger. I didn’t know who RA The Rugged Man was before I saw this video and learning about his story was inspiring. It just goes to show that the good music and good times don’t care about your race or age. Now, if only we had a song that threw in members of different gender identities. That’s part of BROCKHAMPTON’s appeal right?
909 Days Before Fool’s Circle
A Day With Mr. Manager (w/ music by Kryphon)
First off, I wanna give a shout out to Kryphon for being so cool and letting me use their music for the beat. This video is weird and I’ll tell you why. The woman you see in the video is TC but this song wasn’t made for her. This song is about one of the women I dated in Germany. I briefly mentioned her in an earlier entry. For a short span in Germany I was dating two women at the same time, Zig Zag and the only 10 I see. To anyone out there thinking “That can’t last,” it didn’t, but that doesn’t make you right. Who says polyamory can’t exist? The real trouble was that I was the only one who wanted that type of configuration. Both of the women were not happy about the other. The only thing that made it last as long as it did was the open and honest communication. Eventually Zig Zag put her foot down so we parted ways. We’ve been talking recently and that’s great. The only 10 I see and I had pretty non-stop adventures until I left Germany. We stayed in touch for a little while I was in Tucson but it’s been a long time since we’ve had a good conversation. I wrote this song about her at some point, but by the time I recorded it, I was already dating TC. I’ve never felt right about that juxtaposition.
The only 10 I see’s main complaint was that she felt she should be enough. The truth is she was. When we were together, it was awesome. I don’t know why I was so selfish. I like being with two people more than one. The hope is that they would get along and I would have some sense of freedom because they could rely on each other when I’m in one of my moods. More so than anything, I’m terrified of relationships. I’m tired of hurting people. I’m tired of them losing interest or trying to control me. I’m tired of failing at them. Friendships aren’t always easy but at least you can cool off and pick up where you left off. I always viewed sex as a way to strengthen relationships. Now, some of my partners won’t talk to me and others have lives that I’m incompatible with and for what? For this? To give you the juicy details about sex in caves and on islands? What kills me is there was a period where someone was enough. They were my everything. Due to my jealousy or drug use or whatever, I let it go. Ever since, I haven’t felt right. Come to think of it, I didn’t really feel right before or during it. It would just be easier to never have to do anything ever again. That being said it doesn’t look I’m going to blink out of existence anytime before the Red Rocks show, so let’s get on with it.
892 Days Before Fool’s Circle
The Effects Of Drugs (w/ music by Xaebor)
This is a collection of raps that I had put out on Instagram while I was in Germany and Tucson. I was doing this thing where I was challenging myself to write 1600 bars. I maybe wrote a couple hundred. It just devolved into shoddy freestyles. This was filmed on a visit to my friend Androllin’s farm. He’s the one playing the horn on my Soundcloud classic, “Nihilism: The Audio Pamphlet.” These raps along with the tour promotion got rolled into one for an episode of Morning Keelay.
2019.08.27 Edit: That audio pamphlet was originally written in a book that I wrote to the only 10 I see. All of my books are meant to be burned. I kept forgetting how that one ended and apparently I had written “burn this” and she did. I think that’s the only one that’s been burned so far. Hello nurse has two books of mine, I have one. My friend Thomas has one and the copy of the Great Gatsby may still be out there.
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